The Trial of Billy Collins

The court finds the defendant
guilty as charged,
of five hundred and eighty two counts
of promulgating joy and serenity inspired verse.
The court finds the defendant
guilty as charged,
of seven hundred and twenty eight counts,
of writing poems accessible to the masses.

Mr Collins,
How can English literature student royalty
feel superior to commoners,
when you use such tiny words
to say more in one stanza
than they can
in scathing five thousand word reviews?

Mr Collins,
the bamboozlement genre
has been looking as battered as the Sphinx,
ever since you arrived,
with your glorified nursey rhymes,
that have the audacity to outsell novels.
Your work is overladen with peace and love.
Meanwhile hate and misery fuelled verse
languishes in the background,
like a street carnival corpse.

While the complainant finishes serving
his five year maximum insecurity sentence,
at Shakespeare University,
where you moonlight as an English professor,
the court finds it necessary
to relieve you of your pen license,
before the streets run red with ink.

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