Dog Fight

The Red Baron of love has flown into town,
to machine gun a drunk cherub archer down.

Hilda claims she adores her Bohemian bard,
all that girl really craves is his credit card.

Weekends in Honolulu and romantic odes
are stingy in the eyes of the Queen of toads.

Her angelic mask prompted Win to propose,
how she stopped it slippin, Satan only knows

Just a week after the honeymoon ocean cruise,
Win wants a divorce, she can’t believe the news.

How dare he steal her chauffeur driven lifestyle,
it’s the darkest drama Earth has seen in a while.

Hilda’s become a storm trooper in yoga tights,
she is ready to rumble for aristocratic rights.

Winston has no faith in the restraining order,
he’s playing hotel hopscotch over the border.

Not even Hilda’s lawyer imagines she’s joking
about scrotum purses, human chops and choking.

The divorce trial is conducted via video link,
Hilda’s chances of victory are gone in a blink.

She appears before the judge looking seductive,
talk of barbed wire nooses proves counterproductive.

A life insurance payout could trump the prenup,
but with her intent known Hilda has to give up.

Before the trial she boasted “I’ll win with ease,”
she had to sell her Rolls to pay her legal fees.

The desperate hurry meant she couldn’t afford,
to sell British grandeur for more than a Ford.

The proxy buyer passed on her freeway magic
to a troubadoor whose taste in women is tragic.

That bargain couldn’t halt the landslide of regrets
from tying the knot with the queen of death threats.

The Red Baron of love has flown into town
to machine gun a drunk cherub archer down.

It has been a long time since Cupid has spoken,
his wings are Swiss cheese and his arrows broken.

© Rodney Hunter, 2019