Quality Magnet International

I’m Erskine Jay Magoo,
a product reviewer for Quality Magnet International.
Nobody else turned up at the interview,
and wi would they
wen they wood have had to compete with sum one of my ilk.
I like to call myself a product anal list,
it’s a title worthy of my credentials.
My I.Q is about 98 I reckon,
that’s nearly a hundred per cent.
My vocab you airy is second to nun.
and I don’t need apes to correct my speling
and puncture ashen.
This looks like it’s ment to be a poem,
cos my pear riff a rule vision is playing up,
so I can’t make it two wide.
An I.Q of 98, that puts me rite up there with
Einstein, Newton, Da Vince Sea, Steven Hawk King
and Roberts. My mate Malcolm Roberts,
he showed those scienticians a thing or too
when he was in the senate.
Vegan, the guy who owns Quality Magnet International,
he even gives me free deodorant every day.
He said not to tell anyone he owns Mother Nature’s Aromas too.
That guy is too modest.
Today I’m reviewing the latest arrival
on the Tea Tree deodorant seen.
Vegan has given it a really random name, Leptospermum.
Is that sexy or what!
It reminds me of an island paradise covered in Palm Trees.
Vegan’s not one of those pigs and cows have feelings two types,
he’s a real man.
He’s even puts alcohol in his products.
Alcoholic role on deodorant will come in handy
in the no drinking section at the football.
Leptospermum aye, how’s that for originality.
That other Tea Tree deodorant brand, Thursday Plantation,
they’ll be shitting themselves now.

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